Forgiving is Good for You. . .Really (Part 2)

Matthew 6:12-15, NASB - And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.’ For if you forgive other people for their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive other people, then your Father will not forgive your offenses.

 

                We pick up today where we left off yesterday with the discussion of self-serving reasons that learning to forgive is good for you.  Yesterday we touched on the physical, relational, emotional, and mental benefits of the practice of forgiving. Today, we add the spiritual dimension.  Forgiving others is good for your relationship with God and refusing to forgive hinders your relationship with God.  However, the correlation doesn’t work the way many people think.  Many read the scripture above and take from that God withholds God’s forgiveness if we don’t forgive others.  In other words, God’s forgiveness is conditional.  That is NOT what this passage is saying.  Just to be clear – God’s forgiveness is NOT conditional.  Let’s take a closer look. 

There is a principle that has been demonstrated over and over and which all of us should recognize and begin to live into.  What you focus on, you get more of.  This extends to spiritual disciplines as well.  If you are angry much of the time, you will receive anger most of the time.  If you act in judgmental ways, you will find yourself being judged.  If you are free with your condemnation of others, you will find yourself being condemned.    The apostle Paul said it this way:

 

“Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.”                      Galatians 6:7-8

 

So, for a moment today, I encourage you to focus on your experience of being forgiven.  The reason for that is you need that experience as a basis to practice forgiving others.  In a surprising way that I hope you all have or will experience, the opposite is true as well.  As you practice forgiving others, your own experience of being forgiven deepens and expands.  That’s why Jesus, Paul, and forgiveness teachers in every tradition teach about the profound connection between forgiving and being forgiven.  One does not exist without the other. 

God forgives us first (Eph 4:32), then we begin to forgive others and ourselves. This leads to a deeper experience of God’s forgiveness. This empowers us to better be able to forgive others and ourselves.  The cycle repeats. The cycle repeats again.  Forgiveness grows in us and in the world.  That’s how it supposed to work.  Forgiveness is a conspiracy of God’s scandalous love.  It turns the Old Testament notion of “eye for an eye” upside down.  That’s why I call it a revolution – a forgiveness revolution.

However, the revolution goes nowhere without our participation, without our practice.  That’s why I consider forgiveness a spiritual discipline.  One aspect of a discipline is that you do it even when you don’t feel like it because, somewhere way deeper than your feelings, you know it’s good for you.  This conviction that it’s good for you grows as you do it – you begin to actually feel the benefits after you been doing it while.  This feeling reinforces and inspires you to move even deeper into the discipline – thus someone who couldn’t even run a mile at one time completes a marathon.  The practice of forgiveness is like that too.

But at first, if you’re like me, you really don’t want to do it and furthermore, it doesn’t seem like it would be good for you.   Even with the experience of BEING forgiven under your belt, turning around and forgiving others doesn’t seem attractive.  God can forgive because God is, well. . . God.  Ah, but let me plant a thought in your mind before I sign off until tomorrow. 

 

Question:  Remember a time when you knew that either God or someone else had forgiven you.  Connect with how that affected you physically, emotionally and spiritually.  To the extent you were able to make that connection, how are you now more ready to forgive others?

 

Prayer:  God, thank you for your forgiveness.  Help us begin to understand why you forgive so that we may begin to forgive as well. Amen

 

Song:  I’m Not Who I Was – Brandon Heath

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqj9ACL5fNQ

Forgiveness Does Not Remove Consequences

Genesis 3:23, NIV - So the Lord God banished [Adam] from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken.

 

Proverbs 3:11-12, NIV - My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in

 

Though God did forgive Adam for disobedience, there were still consequences.  Forgiving someone does not remove natural or imposed consequences of the offending action.  As Rob Bell has said, “You can forgive someone and call the police.”  Obviously, many actions have consequences that are natural and cannot be removed.  For instance, imagine a situation where a friend had agreed to pick you up in his car to take you to a job interview. He doesn’t show up, and consequently you miss the interview and your chance to get the job is lost.  Forgiving that friend is certainly possible, but getting another interview for the same job is not.  The consequence cannot be avoided, but forgiveness is still a possibility.

                There are other instances where you may choose to forgive but also impose consequences.  In the job interview situation above, you may decide to never accept a ride from the friend when something important like a job interview is at stake.  You have imposed that consequence, but that does not preclude the choice you make to forgive your forgetful friend.  Even if you, at a later date, decide to remove that consequence and give your friend another chance, that decision is still separate from the decision to forgive. What is important to note here is that whether the consequences are natural or imposed, they are a separate issue from forgiveness.  When consequences are removed, it is often called a pardon, as is the case with a Presidential Pardon.  The President often pardons people who have previously been convicted of crimes and consequences have been imposed.  While the person receiving such a pardon has the consequences removed, the people hurt by their crime are not forced to forgive the person. The forgiveness and the pardon are independent from each other.

                As a good parent does with errant children, God often imposes consequences in hopes of correcting unhealthy behavior.  It’s important to note that consequences, when imposed wisely, are never given for the purpose of hurting or punishing the other.  God and good parents are interested not in hurting, but helping the straying child.  Being on the receiving end of helpful impositions is not pleasant, but trusting that God is trying to help us can make the “pill” easier to swallow. 

 

Question:  Can you think of a time when consequences for a mistake you made helped you in the long run?

 

Prayer:  God, thank you for loving us enough to care about when make mistakes.  Help me see the places in my life where I need correction and the grace to accept that correction when it is offered. Amen.

 

Prayer Focus:  Pray for God to give wisdom to people facing an important decision.

 

Song:  Good, Good Father

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ak0OoFBw3c