Did Jesus and Joseph Talk About What Happened Before He Was Born?

 

Mark 10:1-12, CEB - Jesus left that place and went beyond the Jordan and into the region of Judea. Crowds gathered around him again and, as usual, he taught them.  Some Pharisees came and, trying to test him, they asked, “Does the Law allow a man to divorce his wife?”

Jesus answered, “What did Moses command you?”

They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a divorce certificate and to divorce his wife.”

Jesus said to them, “He wrote this commandment for you because of your unyielding hearts. At the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.  Because of this, a man should leave his father and mother and be joined together with his wife, and the two will be one flesh.  So they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore, humans must not pull apart what God has put together.”

Inside the house, the disciples asked him again about this.  He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

 

There is a lot more going on in this passage than the casual 21^st century reader would ever realize.  While it seems that Jesus is a “divorce is always wrong” guy, the context for this discussion can help us discern whether that’s really true.  What is never said (but would have been clear to the audience) is that the Pharisees are asking Jesus to weigh in on an ongoing debate in the Rabbinical community concerning divorce.  Rabbi Hillel, representing the most popular camp, held that a man (and only a man) could divorce his wife for any reason by simply giving her a certificate of divorce.  In theory, this gave the woman permission to re-marry another man.  In reality, a divorced woman in first-century Judaism was an outcast and the chances that any man would ever consent to marry her were very slim.  The “certificate” actually served to absolve the man of any further responsibility for the woman and, at the same time, marked the woman as “damaged goods.”  This was why Joseph, trying to save Mary from this fate, planned to “quietly divorce her” (Matthew 1:19).  He was trying to follow Mosaic law without harming Mary. 

It makes me wonder whether Jesus and his earthly father Joseph ever had a conversation about what had happened before Jesus was born.  This is because, Jesus, in responding to the Pharisees’ question, is displaying the same compassion for the woman in the equation as Joseph did for Mary.   The original purpose of Moses’s declaration was to protect and care for the woman because the men were going to discard their wives anyway.  However, Moses’s law, like so many other imperfect laws over the course of history, ironically ends up achieving the opposite of its intention.  It legitimizes the ruining of women and gives men license to do it at will.   

This is why Jesus uses non-exceptional language in the case of divorce.  He is siding with the other Rabbi in the ongoing divorce debate, Rabbi Shammai.  Shammai contended that man can divorce a woman only on the basis of adultery.  In a culture where women have few rights, Jesus quotes the words of truth from the Pharisees’ highly held Torah law.  In marriage, God makes the woman and man one.  To break that union is to undo what God has done. Rabbi Shammai is closer to the truth, but Jesus cuts through and pushes beyond the debate.  He raises the status of women in the process. 

God does not like divorce because it breaks up life as He desires it to be for us.  It damages our soul.  God allows that sometimes divorce is necessary to prevent even greater damage than has already been caused, but divorce doesn’t fix what is broken.  Divorce should never be taken with any allusion that it will not damage us in the same way adultery does.  That damage does not put us beyond the restorative grace and love of God, but it is real nonetheless. It’s crucial to note that Jesus doesn’t forbid divorce or re-marriage here; He simply describes that there will be inevitable obstacles to overcome.  Jesus Himself is the way in which such obstacles are overcome and the broken can be restored and/or healed. 

 

Question:  How do you understand God’s design for marriage?

 

Prayer:  God, help us understand Your desire for our most treasured relationships, including marriage.  Give us the ability to express the same grace in our human relationships  as You do with us. Amen.

 

Prayer Focus:  Pray for the marriages of people you know today.   

 

Song:  Joseph, Better You Than Me (ft. Elton John, Neil Tennant) - The Killers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW8oEWfuEIg

Jesus’s Position on Divorce

 

Jesus’s Position on Divorce

January 21, 2022

Matthew 19:1-12, The Message - When Jesus had completed these teachings, he left Galilee and crossed the region of Judea on the other side of the Jordan. Great crowds followed him there, and he healed them.

One day the Pharisees were badgering him: “Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”

He answered, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.”

They shot back in rebuttal, “If that’s so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?”

Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan. I’m holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery.”

Jesus’ disciples objected, “If those are the terms of marriage, we haven’t got a chance. Why get married?”

But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”

 

This passage has been widely misinterpreted and because of that, caused much pain for many.  It has been used to condemn all divorces except for sexual immorality.  This is understandable, for reading Jesus’s words at face value, that seems to be what He is teaching.  However, what we are missing is that Jesus wasn’t making a literal prohibition on divorce.  He was stating his position on a widely-known rabbinical debate concerning marriage.  This is clear from the properly translated question that the Pharisees ask Jesus; ““Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”

                The “for any reason” is the key.  A few decades before Jesus’s time, the Rabbi Hillel argued that Deuteronomy 24 permitted a man to divorce his wife for any cause as long as he gave her a certificate of divorce.  The certificate was to protect the woman from her ex-husband ever “reclaiming” her.  But Rabbi Shammai argued that the only ethical reason for a divorce was sexual immorality.  When the Pharisees ask Jesus their question, what they are asking for is His position on the Hillel/Shammai debate. 

                From Jesus’s answer, we see that He sides with Shammai.   However, what is not commented on at all in this exchange is the larger Jewish framework of marriage that is already in place.  To summarize that framework, it basically stated that the obligation of marriage is to provide three things:

(1) Fidelity – no adultery

(2) Provision – the spouse is to be provided for

(3) Love – the spouse is not to withdraw or withhold love (sexual or otherwise)

The divorce that Moses permitted in Deuteronomy 24 was permitted for a failure to provide any of those three things.  If a spouse was unfaithful, did not provide for you, or basically abandoned the relationship, divorce was permissible.  Jesus, the Apostle Paul, and Shammai would have all said that as well. 

                The Pharisees did not like Jesus’s answer because the “for any cause” divorce had become popular by Jesus’s time.  Jesus is trying to remind them of God’s original plan for marriage which was “the two become one” and “what God has put together, let no one tear apart.”  Jesus’s disciples were obviously not thrilled with Jesus’s answer either for they complain that his position is too hard.  They protest, “then why get married?” 

                Jesus affirms that their question is a good one…a question that everyone considering marriage should answer from a deep place in their heart.  Marriage is a serious covenant and because of that, it’s not for everyone.  If one can’t live up to the above promises, it would be better for them to remain single.  The Apostle Paul says this even more explicitly.

Divorce, in almost every circumstance, is painful.  But sometimes, divorce is necessary to prevent even more pain when one or both spouses can’t or won’t live up to the promises.  When this happens, the community of faith should work to support those who have experienced this regrettable pain, not shun or stigmatize them. 

In Malachi 2:16, scripture states that, “God hates divorce.”  While this passage is often quoted to condemn divorce, it totally disregards the reason behind the statement.  In Jeremiah 3:8, God says through the prophet, “I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries.”  God hates divorce because God has been through it.  The covenant God made with Israel was broken by Israel and God allowed Israel to go her way.  This was why a new covenant was needed . . .a covenant God establishes through Jesus Himself.  One of the primary images of that covenant is marriage; the church is the “Bride of Christ.”  Fidelity, provision, and love are still the core promises of this relationship.  God has never failed to keep those promises even though we sometimes do not. 

 

Question:  What do you understand your part to be in your covenant relationship with God?

 

Prayer:  God, forgive us for the unfaithfulness we have displayed in our relationships with you and others.  Heal our brokenness and strengthen our faith.  Help us to be faithful, provide, and love each other as you do for us. Amen.

Prayer Focus:  Pray for people you know who have been through or are going through a divorce.

 

Song:  Don’t Let Your Heart Be Hardened – Petra

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWNh1IyFdvM