One of the Best Stories in the Bible About Forgiveness & Reconciliation

Genesis 42-47 (If you have the time, it is worth the read!)

 

Today we fast forward to the end of the Joseph story where he is reconciled to his brothers and reunited with his Father. This is one of the most beautiful stories of forgiveness and reconciliation in the Bible. I say forgiveness and reconciliation because they are not the same. As we have talked about before, you can forgive someone without restoring a relationship with them. It is clear in these chapters for today that Joseph was still working on both.

Forgiveness comes first. In chapter 42, we see the hurt and anger that Joseph has harbored all his life come out when he sees his brothers approaching him to buy grain. It is not until he overhears his brothers regretting their actions against him that his heart seems to begin to change. Over the course of the next few chapters, Joseph lets go of his resentment and forgives. That would be significant on its own.

But then he begins to check out whether his brothers are ready to reconcile. He puts them through a series of “tests” to see if they are willing to be honest with him. You can forgive someone even without their cooperation, but reconciliation requires the honest effort of all parties. Joseph sees that his brothers are now being honest with him and so he eventually reveals who he is, letting go of his last bit of resistance to reconciliation. This leads to Joseph being reconciled to his Father, something that never happens if he is not willing to reconcile.

This story of forgiveness and reconciliation is messy. Most stories of forgiveness and reconciliation are. It is some of the hardest spiritual and emotional work we will ever do. But if we don’t do it the work, some outcomes that we long for will never happen. I strongly recommend the journey.

 

Prayer: Lord help us get free from our resentments and deep-seated anger. Help us to see the joy that could be ours if we submit to the journey with your help. Amen.

 

Prayer Focus: Pray for forgiveness and healing for our divided nation.

 

Song: Toby Mac – Forgiveness (ft. Lecrae)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfkhqpl81NA

“I’ve Forgiven Them; Why Does It Still Hurt?”

 

Genesis 45:1-2, CEB - Joseph could no longer control himself in front of all his attendants, so he declared, “Everyone, leave now!” So no one stayed with him when he revealed his identity to his brothers. 2 He wept so loudly that the Egyptians and Pharaoh’s household heard him.

 

“I’ve forgiven them; why do I still feel the pain?”  This question gives insight into the difference between forgiveness and healing.   This difference can sometimes be hard to discern. Forgiving another is often an important part of a healing process. Likewise, experiencing a sense of healing can make it easier to begin to forgive another.   Nevertheless, healing and forgiveness are not the same things.  Making the choice to forgive someone does not automatically remove the pain they caused or heal the wound.   Forgiveness and healing processes often overlap, but it is important to understand they are different processes.  Thinking they are the same leads to obstacles to both.

In the moment captured above in Genesis 45, Joseph is reunited with his brothers years after those same brothers sold him into slavery and told their father Jacob that Joseph was dead.  Joeseph has forgiven them, but still, great emotion rises up in him seeing their faces again.  Joseph had forgiven his brothers, but the wounds they caused had not fully healed.  Forgiving his brothers no doubt helped Joseph’s healing process but the forgiveness was separate process. 

Sometimes, it’s easy to think that because we have made the decision to forgive someone, we will automatically heal.  While we can’t rule out the possibility that God can heal us in an instant, most often, healing takes time.  Just as physical wounds don’t heal instantaneously, spiritual and emotional wounds usually heal slowly.  Because this is true, sometimes we need to begin to heal before we are ready to think about forgiving the offender.  Forgiveness can help healing and healing can help forgiveness.  They make good partners.

 

Questions:  As you think about wounds you have suffered from others, reflect on these questions: (1) have you made the decision to forgive the offender?  (2) How has your decision to forgive or not forgive affected your ability to heal?  (3) What feels like a next logical step in your healing and/or forgiveness processes?

 

Prayer:  Forgiving God, teach me how to forgive like you do.  Heal my heart and spirit of the wounds of the past.  Give me wisdom on what steps to take next.  Amen.

 

Prayer Focus:  As you go through your day today, pray for God to bless people you come in contact with.

 

Song:  Heart of the Matter – Don Henley

https://vimeo.com/606078937