Friday, June 30, 2023

Instead of Beating Yourself Up for Mistakes, Do This

Titus 2:11-12

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…”

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 

Today, we wrap up our series on the fruits of the spirit.  Self-control, which we began talking about yesterday, often seems the most elusive of the fruits.  Part of the reason for this is that it is easier to spot a lack of self-control than it is to spot someone exercising self-control.  This is especially true of ourselves. We tend to focus way more on our failures to control ourselves than our successes.  When we let that unkind word slip out, when we eat the second piece of cake, and when we give in to our addiction, we beat ourselves up way more than we celebrate our practice of restraint or following through with our intention.  When we do this, we violate an important principle of human behavior;  what you focus on, you get more of. 

If all a child ever hears is “Don’t do _________,”  the child will exhibit more and more negative behavior.  If you are trying to beat an addiction and your constant internal self-talk is “don’t take that drink,”  your brain will actually be more compelled to take that drink.  If you only give attention to failure, you will get more failure.

So try something different.  Instead of focusing on what you don’t want to happen, focus on the good that is already happening.  My guess is that if you were to count the times you actually made a solid choice each day, they would vastly outnumber the mistakes.  I’m pretty sure this is true for almost all of us because the people who make bad choices all day every day don’t read a daily devotional.  They don’t even read much.  They have no regard for scripture.  They have never attended a church service, online or not.  I’ve just pointed out a few good decisions that most of you made today.  My guess is that if you were looking for them, you could find dozens more.  That is the fruit of self control.

When you notice that fruit, focus on building on that. Small steps. Every day. Over week, months, and years.  As Eugene Peterson’s epic book suggests, it’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.  That’s how self-control develops, or more accurately, how it IS DEVELOPED in us. 

 

Prayer:  God, help us see the self-control you have already developed in us so that we see the foundation for our next steps.  Amen

 

Prayer Focus:  Ask God to show you positive behavior in yourself and others.

 

Song:  I have to bring this one back for the last day of Fruits of the Spirit. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rezg4jYFoj0

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