Jesus’s Position on Divorce
January 21, 2022
Matthew 19:1-12, The Message - When Jesus had
completed these teachings, he left Galilee and crossed the region of Judea on
the other side of the Jordan. Great crowds followed him there, and he healed
them.
One day the Pharisees were badgering him: “Is it legal
for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”
He answered, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the
Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And
because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his
wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this
organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them
apart.”
They shot back in rebuttal, “If that’s so, why did Moses
give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?”
Jesus said, “Moses provided for divorce as a concession
to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God’s original plan. I’m
holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you
divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in
cases where the spouse has committed adultery.”
Jesus’ disciples objected, “If those are the terms of
marriage, we haven’t got a chance. Why get married?”
But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a
married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for
everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others
never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom
reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do
it.”
This passage has been widely
misinterpreted and because of that, caused much pain for many. It has been used to condemn all divorces except
for sexual immorality. This is
understandable, for reading Jesus’s words at face value, that seems to be what
He is teaching. However, what we are
missing is that Jesus wasn’t making a literal prohibition on divorce. He was stating his position on a widely-known
rabbinical debate concerning marriage. This
is clear from the properly translated question that the Pharisees ask Jesus; ““Is
it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”
The “for
any reason” is the key. A few decades
before Jesus’s time, the Rabbi Hillel argued that Deuteronomy 24 permitted a
man to divorce his wife for any cause as long as he gave her a certificate of
divorce. The certificate was to protect
the woman from her ex-husband ever “reclaiming” her. But Rabbi Shammai argued that the only ethical
reason for a divorce was sexual immorality.
When the Pharisees ask Jesus their question, what they are asking for is
His position on the Hillel/Shammai debate.
From
Jesus’s answer, we see that He sides with Shammai. However,
what is not commented on at all in this exchange is the larger Jewish framework
of marriage that is already in place. To
summarize that framework, it basically stated that the obligation of marriage
is to provide three things:
(1) Fidelity – no adultery
(2) Provision – the spouse is to be
provided for
(3) Love – the spouse is not to
withdraw or withhold love (sexual or otherwise)
The divorce that Moses permitted in Deuteronomy 24 was
permitted for a failure to provide any of those three things. If a spouse was unfaithful, did not provide
for you, or basically abandoned the relationship, divorce was permissible. Jesus, the Apostle Paul, and Shammai would
have all said that as well.
The Pharisees
did not like Jesus’s answer because the “for any cause” divorce had become
popular by Jesus’s time. Jesus is trying
to remind them of God’s original plan for marriage which was “the two become
one” and “what God has put together, let no one tear apart.” Jesus’s disciples were obviously not thrilled
with Jesus’s answer either for they complain that his position is too
hard. They protest, “then why get
married?”
Jesus affirms
that their question is a good one…a question that everyone considering marriage
should answer from a deep place in their heart.
Marriage is a serious covenant and because of that, it’s not for everyone. If one can’t live up to the above promises,
it would be better for them to remain single.
The Apostle Paul says this even more explicitly.
Divorce, in almost every
circumstance, is painful. But sometimes,
divorce is necessary to prevent even more pain when one or both spouses can’t
or won’t live up to the promises. When
this happens, the community of faith should work to support those who have
experienced this regrettable pain, not shun or stigmatize them.
In Malachi 2:16, scripture states
that, “God hates divorce.” While this
passage is often quoted to condemn divorce, it totally disregards the reason behind
the statement. In Jeremiah 3:8, God says
through the prophet, “I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and
sent her away because of all her adulteries.”
God hates divorce because God has been through it. The covenant God made with Israel was broken
by Israel and God allowed Israel to go her way.
This was why a new covenant was needed . . .a covenant God establishes
through Jesus Himself. One of the
primary images of that covenant is marriage; the church is the “Bride of
Christ.” Fidelity, provision, and love
are still the core promises of this relationship. God has never failed to keep those promises
even though we sometimes do not.
Question: What do you
understand your part to be in your covenant relationship with God?
Prayer: God, forgive
us for the unfaithfulness we have displayed in our relationships with you and
others. Heal our brokenness and strengthen
our faith. Help us to be faithful, provide,
and love each other as you do for us. Amen.
Prayer Focus: Pray
for people you know who have been through or are going through a divorce.
Song: Don’t Let Your
Heart Be Hardened – Petra
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