Good Morning Everyone,
I hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day holiday. I know I did. This week, we will wrap up the forgiveness series, I want to provide a general summary of the series thus far. A few people have asked for this and so I provide it today. I hope it is helpful.
Why Learn to Forgive? – The Selfish Reasons
• Better health – BP, cholesterol, immune response, stress
• Better relationships – with God, with yourself, and with others
• “You reap what you sow” - What fills your heart and actions is what comes back to you
• Take power back – “Forgiveness does not change your past, but it enlarges your future”
Defintions: What Forgiveness is NOT. . .
Approval of what was done
Excuse or justification of what was done
Minimization of what was done (Denial of, blindness to, not treating seriously, pretending not to be hurt)
Removal of consequences for what was done
Reconciliation (which requires two parties)
Restoration of relationship or trust
Justice
Healing
What Forgiveness IS. . .
• Awareness of what was done
• It is a choice (with or without feeling)
• Letting go of the right to punish or otherwise use the offense against the offender
• A process
• An act of trust in God’s justice
• A participation in the merciful and gracious character of God
• Choosing NOT to be a victim any longer
Why Should I Forgive!?
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
- Lewis Smedes
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Hebrews 12:15
Some Qualifiers. . .
• The “steps” don’t always occur in order
• The “steps” often have to be repeated, sometimes many times
• It is not always easy to know when you’re done
• It is very difficult work
Components of Forgiveness
• Intentional Decision
• (Re)discovering humanity
• Letting Go of Notion of Punishment/Restitution
• Change your behavior towards the offender
• Pray for the offender
• Say the Words
Symptoms That Forgiveness Hasn’t Happened
• You have a hard time speaking their name
• You hear that something good has happened to them and you aren’t happy for them
• You are unable to think about them separate from what they did
• You find yourself blaming them for things that are happening to you now
• You wish they were “just gone.”
Resources for Forgiving
• Setting Boundaries
• Writing/Journaling
• Discipline of Gratitude
• Naming/Confessing the “bitter root”
• Asking God for help
• “Reframing” the situation (Romans12:1-2)
• Praying for good to come to the person
Signs that you’re on the Path
• Awareness of the need to forgive
• Decision to forgive
• Changes in feelings about the person
• Able to say the words out loud
• You can pray for the blessing of this person
• You experience at least some measure of gratitude for the experience
Imagine. . .
• Not carrying the bitterness around anymore
• That “foothold” is no longer available in your heart
• The energy expended in relation to the offense being used positively
• “bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” FALLING AWAY POWERLESS
Prayer: Lord help us to make forgiveness a regular part of our life. Heal our hearts. Clear our minds of unhelpful scripts. Give us eyes to see people the way you do. Amen.
Prayer Focus: Pray for families with people in the military.
Song: Still - Steven Curtis Chapman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNMTQB7DwA4
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