Matthew 5:23-24, NIV - “Therefore, if you are
offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister
has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First
go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 25:40, NIV - ‘Truly I tell you, whatever
you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for
me.’
As we
wind up our series on forgiveness this week, we come to the topic of making
amends. We’ve talked about God’s
forgiveness of us, us forgiving others, and even us forgiving God. But what do we do when we have received
forgiveness from others or God. The
appropriate thing to do is to make amends.
In our relationships with other humans, making amends can even be the
appropriate thing to do when the person we have hurt has not forgiven us. Making amends, in these cases, can even help
the other person be more receptive to forgiving you. It should be noted that making amends is NOT
a way to manipulate the other into forgiving you. Making amends requires a genuine desire to benefit
those we have hurt.
But
what exactly is making amends? Biblically
speaking, it is very close to the biblical notion of repentance. In the original biblical language Greek,
repent means “to turn away.” When we
repent, we turn away from the hurtful behavior.
We work not to repeat the actions that harmed others. So to apply this to the notion of “making
amends,” this means that we begin to act towards the person we hurt in ways
that demonstrate our commitment to not hurting them again. Certainly showing kindness, empathy, and
compassion is part of this, but the heart of making amends is helping the other
to see that we know what we did was wrong.
We know it caused harm and our actions show that we are doing all we can
not to repeat the behavior.
Note
the urgency of Jesus’s instruction in the first scripture above that is taken
from the Sermon on the Mount. Why would
one not offer a gift to God (worship) before making every effort to make amends
with those who have something against us.
The urgency comes from the fact that our relationships with others have
a direct influence on our relationship with God. The second scripture above also makes this
point. The way you treat others is, in
effect, the way you treat God. The
importance of making amends is not only for improving our relations with
people. It is a way of improving our
relationship with God.
As I
said before, the purpose of making amends is NOT to extract forgiveness from
others. Therefore, even if our efforts
to make amends with others does not result in a restored relationship with the
other person, genuinely knowing we have done all we can to try and repair our
human relationships still improves our relationship with God. It also sets us up for better relationships
with other people because we have changed our hurtful behavior. Making amends where we have made mistkes is
part of healthy spiritual, emotional, and relational growth. It is part of becoming a better version of
ourselves.
Question: Thinking
about someone who you have hurt in the past, is there something you need to do
to demonstrate your commitment to not repeating the offense?
Prayer: Jesus, thank You
for your instruction in making amends. However,
the nitty-gritty of exactly how to do it in specific relationships is really
heard. Guide my heart to know how I can “turn
away” from the behavior(s) that harmed the other and the courage to replace those
mistakes with action that helps assure the other that I am committed to
change. Amen.
Prayer Focus: Pray
for people who have lost a loved one recently.
Song: Turn My Heart –
Lynn DeShazo
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