You’ll
notice that there is an overlap between the scripture passage for last time and
the one for today. This is because I
want to point out a surprising connection.
Jesus scolds His disciples for unbelief, but then charges these sorry
unbelievers to proclaim the very message they didn’t believe? Yes. Yes He did. And it wasn’t for lack of a better option.
I have
a strange affinity for people who struggle to maintain the “hope bias” I talked
about last time, probably because I tend to be one of them.
“But you’re a preacher, Eric!” you
might say.
Yep, I am. I hesitantly “signed up” for that job just
over three decades ago. I did so with serious
doubts about how it would go. Let me say
that again in case you might have missed it.
I responded to a call to be a pastor with serious doubts that the
results of that decision would go well. Possibly
even more surprising than that, thirty years later, I still sometimes battle
doubts about how it’s going.
I can confidently say I have been
pastor to people who seem to struggle way less with doubt than I do. They make faith-filled leaps with their life
just knowing that God will make good on promises. They trust God implicitly in the worst
possible circumstances and they remember God is the source of blessing in the
best circumstances. They inspire
me. They really do. I thank God that I have people like that in
my life. But if I’m truly honest, they
also sometimes intimidate me and make me feel bad about my doubts.
My little brother Jeff was one of
these faith-filled people. He died a few
months ago after nearly a year-long battle with cancer. As I write this, he would have been 51 two
days ago. This may seem a bit crazy to
say, but Jeff’s journey with cancer was an inspiring thing to watch. While I
know he had seriously bad days, his attitude was always intentionally positive. The treatments he underwent were aggressive,
but he weathered them amazingly well, even maintaining his vigorous work-out
every day. He continued to serve in his
church and serve in other ways outside the church. He was an encourager to people who were going
through similar journeys to his own. Watching
him, I couldn’t imagine him not beating this cancer.
On multiple occasions during that
year, Jeff repeated a statement to me that I know he shared with many others as
well.
“Eric, I will be healed, either
here or in Heaven.”
What is profound to me now about
that is that Jeff had a faith that trusted God was at work in him no matter
what happened. His bold trust inspired me and others too numerous to count. I’m not naïve enough to think that Jeff didn’t
sometimes struggle with doubts. However,
I feel pretty confident that he navigated those struggles better than most,
certainly better than his older brother.
Please don’t misinterpret what I’m
saying here. I’m not having a pity party
for my faith. God has granted me enough faith to get me this far. What I want you to hear is
that, for some reason, God called me to be a pastor knowing full well that
there were more faith-filled options. Jesus
charged these eleven remaining disciples to lead a world-changing movement
knowing full-well that they had just fully doubted that the resurrection had
occurred despite being told by reliable sources that it was true. God puts bold-faithers like my brother to work
building of the Kingdom of Heaven, but God also has work for the rest of us for
whom faith is a constant struggle.
If you struggle with implicit, no-matter-what
trust, you are NOT off the hook. There’s work to be done.
Question: What would you do if you had more faith? Do it anyway.
Prayer: Pray for
people who will spend today fearing for their lives.
Song: I Won’t Back Down – Johnny Cash
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